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    Drama Triangle stressLife is full of drama and sometimes that can help us feel alive, however, drama isn’t always fun or necessary.

    For some people regardless of what life throws at them, they seem very good at creating their own additional drama through the relationships in their life.  If you are one of these people, or if you have someone in your life who seems to constantly be in a state of drama with someone, then this post is for you.

    Drama comes in two forms.

    1. What life throws at you, with regards challenges to your health and circumstances (for example, your car breaking down and the subsequent unexpected costs and bills).

    2. What we create through our relationships with others; arguments, guilt, blame, missed expectations etc

    Do you live in this relationship with yourself?  Always blaming yourself, or expecting other people to let you down, or not trusting yourself to do the right thing?

    Do you often feel like the victim in relationships?  That other people are against you?  Or that you are in the right, and that other people have wronged you in some way, and if only they could see and understand your point of view then everything would be okay?

    Relationships are key to our self inflicted drama, and within relationships, communication is key to whether or not a relationship is going to turn out to be a drama filled one or not.

    In order to recognise if you have drama filled relationships in your life, I want to share with you Karpman’s Drama Triangle.  There are three roles in the drama triangle; Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor.

    Drama Triangle landscape

    Unfortunately, many people conduct many of the relationships in their lives via the drama triangle, constantly jumping from one role to the next ad getting the other people in their loves to ‘play the game’ with them.  Of course many of us don’t realise we are being coerced into this type of relationship until we feel thoroughly drained by and feed of the other person.

    Equally, we can also exhaust ourselves by feeling like a victim, rescuing ourself, and then persecuting ourselves for feeling victimised in the first place.

    The key to stepping out of the drama triangle is to first recognise we are involved in it.  

    Second, we must then focus on communication.  How we communicate (we our self and others) is essential to breaking the drama triangle.  We must show kindness and compassion.  And must important of all, we need the courage to think careful and compassionately with the language we use.

    If you feel that you are caught in your own drama triangle, or that you have someone in your life who keeps sucking you back into their own drama triangle style of communication, then get in touch and I’d be happy to help you develop excellent skills to break the drama triangle cycle once and for all!

    Wishing you a happy and confident day!

    Lydia x

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