WHAT IS CONFIDENCE?
What is confidence?
Confidence is something that we hold in high esteem. We want it and we admire it in others.
Does that mean that having confidence is about being extrovert and loud? Or is about having lots of energy? Can you be confident if your quieter and not bouncing off the walls? Yes.
Confidence is a life skill and its something we can have in some situations and not in others. The myth about confidence is that you either have it or you don’t, and that’s simply not true.
Confidence is relative to the situation we find ourself in, and what our previous experience of similar situations has been.
So that’s the first clarity around Confidence solved.
The second area I wanted to add clarity to is how confidence differs to self-esteem, self-worth, optimism, self-compassion and self-efficacy. As these are words and phrases that are often used interchangeably with confidence. I would like to clarify that confidence is different and distinct to and from each of these.
CONFIDENCE – It requires an ‘I can do this‘ belief and mentality (can be task specific and / or generalised). It is an internal thought that translates into a feeling / physiological response, and it must be externally influenced and demonstrated through actions to develop it for new skills and experiences. So external drives internal and then vice versa.
SELF-ESTEEM – Comes from knowing ‘I am a good person‘. Believing this is possible when you know your values – what you stand for. Self-esteem is something that comes from within (it’s internal) and can be generalised to every situation.
SELF-WORTH – Builds on self-esteem because its about believing ‘I deserve good ‘things’ / life experiences because I’m a good person (values and morals) and I work hard (efficacy)’. Like self-esteem, self-worth is generalised to the person, not the situation (unlike confidence). It also comes from within, however, self-worth can be externally influenced in extreme situations, e.g. abuse. Therefore the responsibility for maintaining your self-worth, is with the individual.
OPTIMISM – Is different once again. Optimism is summarised as ‘This will be good‘. It is generalized positivity that comes from within and is expressed externally. What’s great about optimism is that it can be practised. Optimistic people will spot all the positives in their day, for example, thanking someone for holding the door open. Optimism and positivity are important ingredients in confidence. If we can see the positive things around us, we can start to see how we succeed at many different things and so build our confidence over new experiences going well in the future too.
SELF-COMPASSION – Is about self love and kindness. It is generalised to all situations and is an internal practise. If we don’t know how to love ourself, we won’t be able to see what we do well. So again, self-compassion is an essential ingredient in confidence, and learning to develop your confidence in new situations.
SELF-EFFICACY – Is similar to confidence but based on more practical skills (I have achieved similar goals before or approaching challenges in this way has proved successful for me before). It is task specific and can be influenced by both internal and external influences. It’s about working hard and taking the time (and compassion) to recognise your efforts.
So in summary…
CONFIDENCE – it’s what turns thoughts into actions: IF YOU THINK IT, DO IT!
If you would like to talk through your own personal situation feel free to get in touch and arrange your FREE meet and greet consultation.
Wishing you a Happy and Confident day!