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    As Christmas approaches, so does the party season.  Our social calendar can become full of social gatherings and parties, and this means lots of new people to meet and get to know.  If a room full of strangers is your worst nightmare, or, if you have you ever spent a party not knowing whom to talk to, feeling so awkward you wish you could disappear; then these, TOP 10 TIPS TO FEEL CONFIDENT at the Christmas party is for YOU!

    So without the aid of alcohol, read on and go from self-conscious to self-confident.


    1. Find out everything you can about those who will be attending: Where are they from? What do they do? What are their interests? This is what you can talk to them about.

    – Most people enjoy talking about themselves, so just knowing a couple of facts about someone will put them at ease as well as you.

    2. Wear something that people can talk about; anything that will draw attention and inspire people to approach you. What do you have that would be a good conversation starter?

    – This doesn’t have to be flamboyant, it can be a small accessory, like a necklace or broach, or a handbag or ring.

    3. Read a couple of mainstream newspapers just before the event so that you can use the headlines as icebreakers. The more conversation fuel you have, the easier it will be to get a conversation going.

    – If you haven’t got time to read papers, put the news on the radio whilst you are getting ready and on the way to the event.

    4. Get there early: This gives you the opportunity to warm up slowly as the other guests gradually arrive.

    – You’ll have time to find the loo’s and only a few people to start talking with, rather than walking into a room full of people which can feel overwhelming.  Let the audience and ambiance grow around you.

    5. Remember in detail the accomplishment you’re most proud of just before entering the room.

    – The memory will flood your system with endorphins, which is an instant confidence booster.

    6. Breathe! When feeling self-conscious, people often draw short, shallow breaths, which only make things worse.

    – Focus on taking deep breaths, which have an instant calming and grounding effect.

    7. Pretend that you’re the host of the party: it boosts your self-confidence because it makes the event your event. Better yet, volunteer to be on the greeting committee if you can.

    – This ties in nicely with being one of the first to arrive (see TOP TIP #4)

    8. Position yourself around the desert buffet: it makes for easy conversations, and when people eat, their endorphin levels rise, which puts them in a better mood.

    – And don’t be afraid to keep a casual comment over desserts going by introducing yourself and asking the other person for their name.

    9. Approach people standing alone: they’re probably feeling awkward and lonely and will be grateful to you for saving them from anonymity.

    – Don’t be intimidated by trying to find a way in with the confident people, look for those who may else be feeling like you are.

    10. Compliment them on something they’re wearing, and then ask an open-ended question about it. It’s one of the most effective icebreakers around.

    – Everyone responds well to a compliment, so pay it forward.


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