HOW TO DEAL WITH WORRIES CONFIDENTLY
Dealing with Worries with Confidence
HOW TO DEAL WITH WORRIES CONFIDENTLY
Worries, they are one of life’s norms. We can all have worries and they can be the result of our past experiences, that can be a fact of our present situation, or they can be a concern about the future.
Whatever the reason, worries are something we all experience, have in common and can impact on our confidence.
Before we look at what worries are and how we can deal with them in a positive and productive manner, first lets remind ourselves of what confidence is.
Confidence is a belief that we can do something. A confident person believes ‘I can do this!’
When we are worried, it’s generally because we think either:
– Something is outside of my control: ‘I’m in too deep / this is happening to me / it’s happening too fast!’
– Something is going to go wrong: ‘I don’t like this / this doesn’t feel right.’
– Or: ‘I can’t do this / I’m not good enough’.
So what are worries?
In essence, worries are thoughts and the important thing to realise and accept about thoughts is that they are not facts. You don’t have to buy in to them. They are there because of your past experiences and the thoughts you have bought into in the past. What’s critical is that this doesn’t mean that just because you are thinking these thoughts now that they are a true representation of your current and present situation.
What can you do about worries?
Here are 3 simple steps to help you manage your stress levels and worries, leaving you feeling in control.
Step 1: Put words to your worries, and take a moment to write them down.
Step 2: Read back through your worries and reason with yourself about why they are real and justified. Often we find that when they are out of our head and no longer rattling around feeling bigger than they really are, we realise they are not real, or at least not as big and scary. If the worry still feels real, you must have valid, real reasons supported by evidence as to why this will be the outcome.
Step 3: Write down the positive to each negative you find. For every worry, identify the polar opposite. If something is going to go wrong, write down what it will look like if it goes right. If something is outside of your control, write down what it would look like if were inside your control. And if you feel you can’t do this, write down all the reason why you can do it, including everything from the fact you are alive to the fact that you have many different resources and people around you to use to support you in achieving something, or reducing a worry.
If writing down your worries is not working for you, or if you’re finding it too difficult to change your perspective and see outside of the worry, then talking to someone impartial and non-judgemental may help. If you like to talk to a trained professional and learn to use this skill for yourself in the future get in touch today and arrange your free ‘meet and greet’ session.
Wishing you a happy and confident, and worry free day!
Lydia